Fillmore on the Bachelor
by Adventurelife
Summary: By MSN. After being signed up to The Bachelor as a prank, Fillmore decides to go participate with the hope of spreading love and possibly finding romance. Sarge, fearing the loss of his best friend, enlists the help of Luigi and Guido to sabotage the show. The three follow Fillmore to California with the hopes of scaring the contestants and bringing Fillmore home.
1. Episode 1 - The Introduction

**Author's note: I'm not sure where this story idea came from but here it is! For those of you expecting huge amounts of drama and tears, you may be disappointed. This is a fun little story with some humour, a sprinkle of heart and a few plots woven into each other. The main characters are Fillmore, Sarge, Luigi and Guido.**

 **There are of course OCs but none of them take the spotlight. The contestants were invented by the-kings-tail-fin and Adventurelife. Angela and Bill belong to me, MSN. And to those of you who are wondering, yes, Bill is the same camera guy who first appeared in No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service and Any Other Way. He started out his career with MTV, switched to the Piston Cup, but still does some reality tv off season.**

 **Again, many thanks to the-kings-tail-fin and Adventurelife! Enjoy the story!**

* * *

No one in Radiator Springs expected it. Heck, not even Fillmore expected it. But when the letter came saying that he'd been accepted to be on the Bachelor, Sheriff conducted a quick investigation. Lightning and Mater cracked under the pressure almost immediately. It had been them who signed him up. They'd actually signed a whole bunch of other cars up just for a joke, without taking into account that one of them might actually be accepted.

What _really_ surprised everyone in Radiator Springs was the fact that Fillmore decided to go participate. Apparently, this would be the perfect opportunity to 'spread some love' in a 'cold and desolate world'. No one was exactly thrilled at the idea, but no one was exactly against it either. Except for Sarge. He was slightly worried. What if Fillmore came back with a lady he was in love with? They'd move in right next to him and he'd have _two_ useless neighbours to deal with. Or worse still, what if Fillmore moved away completely? Who would he have to argue with then? The Jeep took it upon himself to do whatever needed to be done to sabotage the show.

He enlisted the help of Luigi and Guido. It wasn't easy, but their imaginations were over-active. All he had to do was tell them to consider what Fillmore would be like with a wife. Maybe she'd be bossy. Maybe she'd come in and tell them how to run their tire store. Luigi was outraged at even the thought of it and so in his haste agreed to help.

The Bachelor truck and camera crew rolled into town on a Friday. They stayed the whole day, video taping Fillmore's home, having interviews with friends, and being chased off Sarge's lawn. Fillmore packed a few belongings and got in the truck at dusk, his friends waving goodbye and promising to watch every episode.

No one noticed a military truck waiting by the Radiator Springs sign and slipping in behind the brightly lit Bachelor truck. Sarge was cramped in the back with Luigi and Guido, along with grappling hooks, binoculars, and everything else Sarge thought they'd need. Luigi was uncomfortable and started to regret his quick decision to come with the veteran. Guido's forks were crossed. He had tried to warn Luigi against this.

They drove all the way to the mansion in California. Fillmore was oblivious to their presence.

* * *

"Alright," Sarge stated once they'd set up camp. "Here's what we're going to do."

Luigi looked distastefully at all the equipment they'd had to push out of the truck. He was starting to think he'd been tricked and was second guessing his commitment to this mission. Guido made a little fire in the middle of their setup, happy to be out camping.

"Luigi," Sarge continued. "You will watch the first episode," Sarge tapped his tire against the old television set.

"Can we not just take Fillmore home?" The Italian reasoned.

"No!" Sarge snapped. "Those ladies will come for him. We need to scare them off. This is a long mission, soldier. And you will gather data."

Gathering data didn't sound too difficult to Luigi.

"And what will you be doing?" He asked the veteran after Sarge had pushed the television into his tent. Guido hooked it up to the generator and fiddled with the antenna.

"Sorting the equipment," Sarge nodded towards the pile. He handed Luigi a clipboard and the Fiat turned into the tent. Guido had managed to find the right channel and Luigi watched in boredom as several advertisements started playing. Hopefully this would be over soon.

* * *

Fillmore parked in front of the mirror, making sure he was presentable. The Bachelor mansion was huge. He'd already been through the car wash and been waxed 'til he shone. The forklifts had offered him several little trinkets but he had declined. He didn't need a bowtie. This was who he was.

In all honesty, the Volkswagen wasn't looking for love. That didn't mean he was opposed to it - maybe it would come, maybe it wouldn't. But these ladies coming onto the show, they _were_ looking for love. Fillmore hoped he'd be able to give them a little bit of love, a little bit of direction. He wasn't young anymore, but he hoped he had some wisdom to impart. If he helped at least one lady he'd be meeting tonight, that would make it worth it. And who knew, maybe he would end up finding a soulmate.

"Fillmore?"

Fillmore turned and saw a dark purple Mini Cooper come in. It was Angela, the hostess of the show. Behind her was Bill, the small Chevy pickup truck that would follow him around with the camera.

"Are you ready?" Angela asked.

"I am," Fillmore said confidently.

"And how do you feel?" Angela asked.

"Confident, Ang," Fillmore nodded. "You know, I'm gonna just be myself. It's gonna go smooth, Ang, I just know it."

He was led down to a beautiful garden that was cozily lit. The first truck rolled up and Fillmore relaxed. He wasn't nervous at all. He was ready.

* * *

Luigi glanced at the tv screen, watching as the camera panned over the mansion the where show would be taking place. He scribbled a vague map on the notepad, figuring Sarge would like the 'information.'

"Ladies and gentlecars," the host of the show announced. "Thank you for tuning in tonight during the first live session of the Bachelor. We're looki...

"Yes, yes, come on," Sarge grumbled, parking himself beside Luigi. "Show us the enemy."

"They are not the enemy," Luigi rolled his eyes. "They are just girls looking for a soulmate."

"Fillmore is not soulmate material," Sarge growled. "And knowing him he'll pick another hippie. Dealing with one is hard enough."

Luigi rolled his eyes and watched as the first truck rolled up the driveway. The ramp was lowered into a sea of rose petals and fake smoke drifted onto the scene. The first car rolled out.

She was a 1970 Chevrolet C10, white and yellow two tone.

"Howdy," she greeted Fillmore with a smile. "I'm Cheyenne Roughtread."

"Evening," Fillmore nodded slowly. "On behalf of myself and our wonderful hosts, I'd like to welcome you to this journey."

"Thank you, that's mighty kind of you," Cheyenne grinned. "What're you hoping to discover?"

"Some might say we're here to find love," Fillmore spoke. "But we don't need to come here to find love. Love is all around, man. In the sky, in the grass. What am I hoping to discover? That I can share the love I see everywhere."

Sarge groaned and rolled his eyes.

Cheyenne was led to the courtyard to wait while the next contestant was introduced. Lilith Bolton, a sunny yellow Volkswagen Beetle with dark roses painted down both sides.

"Hi," she greeted Fillmore. "I hear you're into organic fuel."

"Her," Sarge pointed a tire. "Put her on 'high priority'. She's dangerous."

Luigi did so.

"Hi, I'm Claire LeTracke," the next contestant introduced. She was a light blue Chevrolet Corvair Corsa drop-top. "Wow, look at all of these flower petals!"

Luigi thought she looked a little ditzy.

Next was Everly Wheelmington.

"Just so you know," the forest green 1960 chevy truck announced. "I'm a girl, not a guy."

"Of course," Fillmore nodded, as if completely agreeing with her. "You have such a beautiful, soft complexion. Thank you for coming."

The normally grumpy truck was startled by his friendliness.

"Oh... thank you," she smiled softly, trailing a tire through the flowers on the ground.

"Guten tag... I mean, hello," Karin Wagoner, a 1960 Opel Rekord introduced. She was teal green and white.

"You were manufactured in Germany?" Fillmore asked.

"Ja, I was," Karin smiled, her accent still strong.

"Well, then allow me to welcome you to America," Fillmore bowed. "And thank you so much for coming tonight. Your presence will show the world that despite our differences, we are connected in our search for love and belonging."

Sarge wanted to drive into a tree repeatedly. However, he perked up upon seeing the next contestant.

"Tia Welltread," the dark blue Jeep introduced. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance." She shuffled the rose petals away, frowning at their messiness.

"Welcome," Fillmore bowed. "Say, that's a nasty bullet hole you have there," he nodded towards her license plate.

"Got it during the war," she said proudly. "I was a correspondent during Vietnam."

"She doesn't seem too bad," Luigi glanced towards Sarge.

"What could she possibly be doing here?' Sarge muttered.

"Just so you know," Tia started. "I don't know if I'm exactly comfortable with this."

"Oh, I understand completely," Fillmore nodded soberly, understanding her hesitation.

The seventh contestant burst out of the trailer eagerly. She was a white 1965 Datsun Fairlady with a black drop-top.

"Hi, I'm Li Caramake!" She introduced excitedly. "You must be FIllmore!"

Luigi was getting pretty bored and shoved the notebook aside.

"How many contestants are there?" He muttered to Guido. The forklift replied that there were eight and Luigi turned to the screen again. One last contestant then he could call Lightning to ask how Casa Della Tires was running without him.

"Good evening," a voice with a silky smooth Italian accent floated through the speakers. Luigi gasped, dropping the notebook.

"Guido… It can't be," he turned towards the forklift. The camera panned out, showing a beautiful, deep red Ferrari 250 GT Lusso driving down the ramp.

"IT IS! A Ferrari," Luigi drove right up to the screen, watching with a star struck expression as the Ferrari's front tires touched the petals.

"Calm yourself, soldier," Sarge snapped, reaching forward with his left tire and pushing the Fiat back.

"Good evening and welcome," Fillmore bowed low on the screen. Sarge strained his ears to hear the lady's introductions past Luigi's swooning.

"I am professor Bianca Lusso," the lady introduced. "So nice to finally meet you, Fillmore."

"The pleasure is all mine," Fillmore kissed her offered tire with more sauveness than Sarge thought he had.

He drove with her towards the courtyard where the other contestants were waiting.

The Mini Cooper appeared on the screen, a mic attached to her fender. She rattled on about the schedule for the next couple of days and Sarge turned back to the clipboard, tuning her out as he examined the enemy.

Guido listened curiously.

"Eight contestants, one bachelor. Will Fillmore find true love? Tune in next week to find out."


	2. Episode 2 - The First Group Date

Apparently, Sheriff found out, this season of the Bachelor would be a little different than the others. The officer didn't know what normally happened, but he found the whole situation rather silly. The first difference was that there were only eight contestants. Usually there were close to twenty when the show began. According to the producers, less contestants would help audience members to distinguish the difference between the girls instead of being overwhelmed by the numbers.

The second difference was the Fillmore was a lot older than most of the other bachelors who had appeared on the show. For the life of him, Sheriff didn't know what they had seen in the hippie. Something about a 'new direction' with 'less drama'. But according to Sally, most of the drama came from the girls themselves. If one girl got more dates than the others, hubcaps would roll and they would argue something terrible.

Then there was live-streaming, which was probably the only reason Sheriff and half of the other residents of Radiator Springs would be watching the show. Not everything would be live-streamed but the introductions and the rose-ceremonies would be live. Apparently live-streaming meant higher stakes and more cars would be drawn in.

All of the town residents had watched the first episode together with the exception of Sarge, Luigi and Guido. They had mysteriously gone out of town, leaving Casa Della tires under Lightning and Mater's control. Sheriff knew that _he_ would end up running the store with the help of Doc. Those two boys just weren't responsible enough to handle a business.

Lightning and Mater were very excited to see the contestants and started chatting excitedly about which one they thought Fillmore would fall in love with.

"I think Lilith," Lightning said eagerly. "I mean, she's got flowers painted on both sides. Fillmore likes that, right?"

"Shooooot, I think Karin likes him," Mater gave his opinion. "Did you see the fancy way which she greeted him?"

Sheriff honestly couldn't care less. He just hoped Fillmore would find someone he could be happy with. Judging by Doc's _hmph,_ he felt the same.

* * *

First impressions were important. That's why Fillmore decided that his first date with the ladies would be a group date. It was important to break the ice and clear the air. The producers of the show were quite surprised when instead of taking advantage of the show's budget and going for a helicopter ride, Fillmore asked instead if they could go to a quiet, peaceful field. The producers certainly didn't complain. If the season finished under budget, that would be a plus for them.

Angela, however, did care. As the first female host on the Bachelor, she wanted everything to run perfectly. A meditation session in a field? That sounded boring.

Bill the camera car didn't really care. Natural lighting? Sure, he could work with that. He went ahead with the crew to set up the cameras.

Monday morning found all of the ladies meeting FIllmore in a field just a short driving distance away from the mansion. It was a little bit overcast, but Fillmore thought it was a perfect day for meditating. Less sunshine meant less distraction.

"Hiya, Fillmore!" Li greeted, driving up next to the van as soon as she saw him. "What are we doing today?"

"Morning, Li," Fillmore addressed her then turned towards all of the others. "Today, I thought we'd start of with something simple, something relaxing."

"Relaxing?" Bianca asked, prodding for more information.

"Yes," Fillmore nodded slowly. "Meditation."

The ladies glanced towards each other, a little confused.

"Meditation?" Karin asked.

"What's that?" Everly asked.

"Meditation is a means of transforming the mind," Fillmore took a deep breath.

Claire tilted to the left as she studied the Volkswagen. She wasn't exactly sure what transforming the mind was, but it sounded kind of interesting.

"How do we do that?" She asked.

"You connect with the land," Fillmore hummed. Seeing the confusion around him, he took charge and gave instructions. "First of all, let's all park in a circle, facing towards each other."

The ladies did so, forming a circle that left them about three feet apart from each other. Lilith made sure she was a little bit closer to FIllmore than the others.

"Now," Fillmore glanced around. "Let's relax our tires into the ground, and just settle down."

"What do we do with our minds?" Everly asked. She'd heard about this meditation thing before and it all sounded rather dodgy.

"We're gonna let it elevate to new planes of existence," Fillmore said. The girls glanced at each other, still confused.

"I do not understand," Karin finally spoke up.

"Don't overthink it," Fillmore explained. "Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and just let it happen."

* * *

"What are they doing?" Sarge asked Guido. The little forklift was on the Jeep's roof, glancing out through a pair of binoculars.

"They're meditating," Luigi translated as Guido glanced down.

"They're what?" Sarge pushed himself through the bushes and peered out. Sure enough, Fillmore and the ladies were parked in a circle in the field, breathing deeply with their eyes closed. The Jeep reversed, annoyed. He'd been hoping to gather some intel on the enemy, maybe see if some of them were scared of something. But to no avail.

"Bah, Fillmore is so bad at this," Luigi said in disgust as Guido jumped onto his roof and onto the ground. The forklift agreed. Fillmore had eight lovely ladies vying for his attention and all he could do was to take them to a field? There wasn't a single bottle of champagne around!

"Well, we'll just observe them from here," Sarge decided. He hadn't driven out all this way for nothing.

"You mean we're going to stay here and medidate ourselves?" Luigi asked flippantly.

"No," Sarge growled. "We're going to _observe_."

Guido meanwhile snuck round the bush and glanced around. Maybe there was something here to entertain himself with. He didn't see any sticks lying around, but he did see one of the camera crew. The Chrysler Sebring was muttering into a walkie talkie, his gear completely forgotten. Guido snuck towards him, using his small size as an advantage as he hid behind tree trunks and bushes.

"You observe," Luigi announced. "I am going to sleep."

The Fiat turned around with a flourish and parked himself under a tree facing away from Sarge. The Jeep, happy for the silence, turned back towards the bush. He started flattening part of it with his tire to make a little peep hole.

He'd been struggling for about 5 minutes when he suddenly saw Guido appear on his right. The forklift looked remarkably proud of himself and triumphantly held up a key card. It would get them into the mansion easily.

"Good work, soldier!"

Sarge couldn't be more proud.

* * *

The meditation session ended with varying degrees of success. Cheyenne, Claire and Everly fell asleep. Tia used the time to reminisce, something she hadn't had the time to do in a while. Bianca reminisced as well and halfway through started humming an old Opera piece she remembered. Karin listened to her, happy to recognize the familiar tune. Li and Lilith, however, tried their best to transcend onto another level. Lilith did this by sinking so low on her tires her undercarriage nearly touched the ground. Li was the complete opposite and stretched herself up as high as she could.

After an hour Fillmore shook himself, startling everyone out of their reverie. Claire and Everly woke up at the sound while Tia had to nudge Cheyenne with her tire.

They drove back to the mansion and the camera crew followed. It wasn't exactly what any of the ladies would call romantic.

It did, however, break the ice.

They spent the rest of the day by the pool. It dipped down until the water was about two feet deep and was big enough for all the cars to drive into. Claire was the only one really interested and drove in with a _weee_ and a splash.

Li, not a big fan of water, made a wide turn around it. Fillmore noticed.

"What's wrong, L?" he came up beside her.

"What? Wrong? Nothing's wrong!" Li defended, driving quickly towards the bar and grabbing a glass of champagne. Fillmore glanced after her and the two pieces drifted together in his mind. Li didn't seem to like water. They'd have to confront that.

The hippie turned to watch as Lilith drove slowly around the edge of the pool, enjoying the feeling of the water around her tires.

They ended up having great fun as Tia drove into the water hard and fast several times, making waves for Claire to ride on.

"Is this safe?" Karin asked worriedly as Cheyenne plowed into a wave, almost scraping Everly's paint.

"Watch where you're going!" The green truck mumbled, splashing water onto Cheyenne.

"Oh, it's on," Cheyenne was more than ready to recuperate and spun quickly to the side, shoving the water onto Everly.

"It's all in fun, Karin," Fillmore nodded wisely. Bianca came to his other side and offered him a glass of champagne. Tia suddenly stopped and glanced at Fillmore, an idea suddenly in her mind. She plowed into the pool and with a flourish, spun her back tires so that the van was soaked.

Karin and Bianca backed up quickly as Fillmore blinked.

"Get Fillmore!" Claire shouted and tried to copy Tia's maneuver. She was, however, much smaller than the Jeep and only got a little splash on him.

"That's the spirit, man!" Fillmore grinned, suddenly happy. He drove into the water and rocked to the side, causing waves to pool out around him.

Everly and Cheyenne joined forces and using their cargo beds, scooped water on him.

The day ended with a pool that was practically empty and two dry champagne bottles. Several forklifts drove onto the scene, offering towels to the contestants and turning on heat lamps as a chill settled in the air.

"So, Fillmore," Angela asked as two forklifts threw a towel over the van. "How did your first group date go?"

"Just swell, Ang," Fillmore replied, shivering slightly. "Just swell."


	3. Episode 3 - Tia and Cheyenne

Sarge was up before dawn. His time in Radiator Springs often resulted in him getting up a little later than he was supposed to, but he was on a mission now and would act accordingly. Taking a deep breath in the clearing, Sarge felt like his engine was ready for anything.

It would need to be if he was going to chase off those ladies. Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, it wasn't just the thought of two hippie neighbours that worried the veteran - it was the thought of losing a friend. Not many ladies would want to move to Radiator Springs. Love was a powerful motivator and Sarge couldn't bear the thought of Fillmore moving away. Who would he have to fight against if that happened? He needed the push, the drive, and Fillmore provided exactly that. No, Sarge decided. He had lost enough. Fillmore would not be leaving in the clutches of a 'contestant'.

None of the ladies bothered him too much, except maybe for Lilith. In fact, he'd been surprised to see Tia there. He had met her during her correspondence and had the utmost respect for her. Hopefully she would see sense and realize that she and Fillmore were completely incompatible.

Sarge was jerked out of his thoughts as he heard a snore to his left. Luigi was curled up in his tent, smiling softly as he dreamed of either tires or Ferraris - Sarge wasn't sure. The Fiat had asked how long they would stay and Sarge had replied until the bitter end, which would be three weeks. The first rose giving ceremony

would be on Saturday. If some of those ladies were smart, hopefully they'd leave of their own free will. In the meanwhile, they would collect data. Guido had found a small hole in the hedge surrounding the mansion big enough for him to squeeze through. He would pose as gardener and scout out the area.

It was a waiting game and Sarge was determined to be patient.

* * *

Fillmore choose to have his first one-on-one date with Tia, the Jeep. Li was the one who opened the envelope and the other girls crowded around her curiously.

" _Tia,_ " Li read. " _Will you come with me on a date to learn from those before us_?"

Tia was rather surprised and just a little bit nervous. What exactly would this date entail?

"What do you think, Tia?" Angela asked her as they drove towards the destination.

"I don't really know," Tia replied. "I'll see when I get there."

It didn't leave Angela much room to interrogate on so she left it at that.

Tia's worry melted away as she saw where the date was taking place. A war museum. Fillmore was waiting for her and together the two drove through the front doors. Angela wasn't really impressed at the location, but there had been worse, right?

Fillmore and Tia spent the whole morning driving through the museum and talking. The Jeep's worry disappeared as she explained what she knew about the guns and weapons and traded stories with Fillmore.

They finally settled into a peaceful silence as they reached a corridor dedicated to the Vietnam War.

"Tell me, Tia," Fillmore said slowly as they parked by a display's glass. "What exactly are you looking for?"

The Jeep hesitated, glancing at the display. It showed several snapshots of Vietnam. She hadn't seen all of the action, but certainly a good part of it.

"I suppose," she said slowly, glancing at Fillmore. "I need a new mission, a new story."

The van nodded but didn't say anything, allowing Tia to gather her thoughts. The Jeep was hesitant to speak her heart, but glanced first at Fillmore, then at the peaceful, organized museum around her. There weren't many cars around this time of day. Sometimes risks needed to be taken. Fillmore was a calculated risk.

"After my correspondence," she started. "I never really found… anything that compared to it. Everything else I worked on was too small or insignificant." She shrugged and turned back to the display. "I suppose that's why I signed up… perhaps doing something like this would help me focus on what I should do next."

A good minute of silence settled between them. It wasn't an awkward silence that usually settled over contestants, but a thoughtful, deep silence.

"Tia, I don't think you need to look forward," Fillmore said slowly. The Jeep glanced at him curiously and he continued. "Your heart… It belongs with that story. There's no 'next' new story. There's a second story. One that follows the first one."

"You mean," Tia frowned. "I should do a kind of follow-up?"

"Sure," Fillmore nodded. "Sometimes, Tia, we need to draw inspiration from the past to move forward."

Tia pondered over the hippie's words. Fillmore was right. Ever since her correspondence she'd tried to move on and and find something _new_ to do. While there had been some interesting stories, her heart wasn't in any of them. Maybe she could do a follow up! Call up some of her old contacts and have a reunion of sorts. Now would be a perfect time for a documentary, or, or a book even!

"Yes… Yes…" she started getting excited. "There's always a story!"

The date ended with her promptly racing back to the mansion and Fillmore following with a satisfied expression. Tia was going to be alright, she'd find a story she truly enjoyed.

* * *

Angela was confused. Tia had come back with her date with Fillmore and immediately talked to the other girls excitedly. There was no bragging that she had gotten the first date, no jealousy from the others. Only enthusiasm. In fact, Cheyenne was helping her brainstorm ideas for a follow up story.

This wasn't right. Fillmore and these girls were supposed to be looking for love - romantic love. It needed to entail all the drama that usually came with the emotion. Confused, the Mini decided it was time for a chat with the van. She found him humming in his room to some invisible tune only he could hear.

"Fillmore?" She asked, pushing the door open.

"Ang," he greeted. "How's my favourite reality host?"

"I'm good, thank you," she replied politely. "But also a little confused, Fillmore."

"You're probably just overthinking it," Fillmore said in a way he probably thought was wise.

"Just tell me this," Angela cut straight to the point. "Fillmore, are you here to find love?"

She fixed him with a stern look that didn't faze the hippie at all. Instead he sighed and looked dreamily at the roof.

"Of course I'm here to find love, Ang," he replied. "But also to give it."

He looked in love, Angela realized. But he wasn't in love with a girl. He was in love… with _love_. This hippe was completely delusional.

"We have a huge problem," she muttered to herself as she left the room. If Fillmore wasn't interested in fighting for a girlfriend, how were the views going to go up?

* * *

Another boring, under-budget date came in the form of Fillmore's date with Cheyenne.

 _Cheyenne,_ the letter to her read. _Let's go far together_.

A little confused, but optimistic, Cheyenne followed Angela to where Fillmore was waiting. It was just on a stretch of road, but with a magnificent view. It twined and twisted between hills and Cheyenne found the sight freeing.

"What're we doing today, Fillmore?" She asked, glancing at the road in front of her.

"Chey, we're just gonna go for a nice long drive," Fillmore replied, beaming internally as the truck's face lit up.

They started down the the road which was remarkably empty. Two or three others cars were travelling in the other direction along with a few trucks. The camera van behind them got a few stares but no one stopped to asked questions.

"Cheyenne," Fillmore finally said casually. "Tell me, are you enjoying this so far?"

"It's somethin' else, that's for sure," Cheyenne admitted. "All of those girls are really nice."

"You don't feel intimidated at all?" Fillmore prodded. He knew girls could get quite defensive and nasty at times and wished to avoid that.

"We are all meant to be who we discover in ourselves," Cheyenne replied and Fillmore nodded. Wise words.. This truck was clearly on his level.

They drove until the next town was in sight then decided to turn around.

"As much as I've been enjoying this," Cheyenne started. "It's a little hard just sittin' around, doin' nothing."

Fillmore understood her sentiment. The mansion was a great place to get pampered and spoiled. For a truck like Cheyenne, it would be hard.

"Perhaps you need somewhere more your flow," he suggested. "Someplace that you can relate to. Where the cars understand where you're from."

"Well, I grew up in a pretty small town," Cheyenne started. "Kind of like the one you're from."

"Radiator Springs," Fillmore nodded. "It's a lovely place, Chey. You should come visit sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Cheyenne nodded.

Later that night as Angela looked over the video she was again worried that the ratings would go down.

"It was a lovely date," Cheyenne said enthusiastically in the interview. "Lovely just drivin' around and seeing the scenery."

"Well, you gotta admit the scenery is something else," Bill commented as he parked beside Angela to watch the footage. "They'll string it together and come it with something."

The date ended up being a homage to the California countryside more than anything else.


	4. Episode 4 - The First Rose Ceremony

Saturday night, the whole of Radiator Springs tuned in for the first rose ceremony. Fillmore had spent an equal amount of time with every one of the contestants and gone on a one-on-one date with each of them. In their little tent, Luigi, Guido and Sarge were watching as well. The Fiat was anxiously hoping that Bianca would be given a rose. In fact, Luigi thought, the Ferrari deserved all the roses.

"Remind me how this works again?" Sheriff asked Sally as the Mini Cooper hostess gave a summary of the week.

"There are six roses Fillmore has to give," Sally explained. "Whoever gets a rose, stays. The two that don't get a rose, leave."

"That's pretty rough," Lightning commented.

"Sounds ridiculous," Doc mumbled. "Can't tell them apart anyway."

Parked in the foyer of the mansion, all of the ladies looked at each other in worry. It was their first rose ceremony and a little nerve-wracking for everyone.

"Ladies," Angela turned towards them. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, yes," Tia grumbled. "Get on with it already."

"Couldn't agree more," Sarge mumbled. Fillmore rolled into the foyer, looking completely relaxed. Angela studied his expression carefully. All the bachelors usually looked very somber and serious during the rose ceremonies. Fillmore had a remarkable poker face.

"Ladies," the Volkswagen started. "Tonight, you're expecting a difficult decision."

Everyone looked at him in anticipation.

"I, however, will not be making that decision," Fillmore said resolutely.

"What's he doin'?" Ramone asked. Sarge rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what was coming.

"These rules," Fillmore started dramatically. "Have no place in matters of the heart. We must carve our own path," he slammed his tire down resolutely. "And so I won't be sending any of you home."

"What, no," Angela tried to protest. They were _live_ for crying out loud.

"But…" Lilith questioned. "The roses?"

"What about them?" Fillmore shrugged.

"There are only six," Claire reasoned. "Are we going to have to share?"

"No need," Fillmore reached his tire behind the table and pulled out a basket. "I brought my own."

Sure enough, there in the basket were several roses, all made out of old newspapers.

"You made your own roses?" Li asked.

"There's beauty in everything," Fillmore replied.

"They're really well done," Everly rolled forward, admiring the details on the petals. All of the other ladies crowded around her, wanting to see for themselves.

"That's Fillmore for you," Sheriff shook his head, watching the ladies coo over the roses. "Can't bear to send anyone home."

"No! Give Bianca an actual rose," Luigi demanded, outraged at the disrespect the Ferrari was receiving.

Sarge chuckled as he saw Angela's expression in the background. Stupid hostess. Fillmore didn't abide to any rules. They should have thought of this before they signed him on.

"Alright, I'm sorry," the Mini Cooper finally drove forward, raising her voice. "But two of you have to go. It's in the contract."

"If you force any of these wonderful, sweet ladies to leave against their will, I'm going with them," Fillmore said resolutely.

Karin inwardly swooned and Bianca admired his determination.

"I... " Angela struggled for words.

"It's alright," Tia finally spoke up. "I was planning on going anyway."

The Jeep took one of the paper flowers and turned to the van.

"Fillmore, it was wonderful meeting you," she nodded. "You helped me when I needed it the most."

"You helped me as well," Cheyenne rolled up to him and gave him an affectionate bump on the tire. The other cars rolled back, allowing Tia and Cheyenne to say their goodbyes.

"Ladies, it was so great to have you here," Fillmore smiled warmly at both of them. "I'll go out with you."

There were no tears or drama. Only affectionate goodbyes as Cheyenne and Tia bid farewell to the other competitors. Fillmore drove with them to where the trucks were waiting. He promised Tia that he'd follow her story and told Cheyenne to come visit him when the show was over.

"And remember," he called to them. "Go wherever your path takes you!"

* * *

After that stunt, the views shot through the roof. Everyone wanted to see the hippie bachelor give out newspaper flowers instead of real ones. MTV replayed the scene multiple and it started trending on YouTube.

The Weathers family first spotted it during one of the replays.

"Hey, Cal, go back a bit," Lynda said suddenly. Cal, who'd been flicking through the television channels, stopped and moved his tire to the other button.

"What is it?" Strip asked her.

"I think I saw someone familiar," Lynda squinted at the screen. "Stop!"

Cal moved his tire away from the button and glanced up. Sure enough, there was Fillmore, standing in some sort of of hallway with a bunch of roses next to him.

"Ain't that the Volkswagen on McQueen's pit crew?" Tex asked, looking up as well.

"Yeah, Fillmore," Cal replied. "What show's he on?"

"Looks like the Bachelor," Strip commented. "What with the roses and all."

"Huh," Tex commented. "I actually got accepted for that just a few weeks ago."

The sponsor shot a glance over at Cal, who quickly turned up the volume on the show to avoid any awkward questions. Tex knew it had been Strip's nephew and some other racers who decided to sign him up, but Cal hadn't admitted to it yet.

"What'd you do?" Strip asked.

"Just deleted the email," Tex shrugged. Cal noticed Strip's gaze land on him but was saved by any demanding questions as Lynda started chuckling.

"Look, he's giving them newspaper flowers," she pointed a tire.

In another house, Leland Turbo and Rod Redline spotted it next.

"Look here, Redline," Leland pointed to the screen, trying to catch his roommate's attention. "It's the van that works for McQueen's pit crew."

Rod couldn't care less.

In fact, due to Fillmore's connection to Lightning and Lightning's connection to the racing world, most of the racers ended up watching the show. It was off season anyway and certainly more entertaining than other late night tv shows.

Sarge, for one, wasn't at all surprised by Fillmore's actions. He was actually amazed it had taken the hippie this long to do something completely embarrassing and was happy that two contestants had left of their own free will. However, he didn't let the relief cloud his judgement. There were still six more contestants to scare away.

He started his plan Sunday night. Armed with nothing but his knowledge of the mansion from the outside, Guido snuck in using his keycard.

"I will not have Bianca humiliated in this way," Luigi had protested.

"Very well," Sarge rolled his eyes. "We'll skip her then everyone will think _she's_ the guilty one."

The Fiat reconsidered his previous stand point and relented. Guido went on with his mission.

* * *

Fillmore woke early Monday morning and watched the sunrise from the balcony outside his room. With some nostalgia, he remembered his usual morning routine with Sarge. He missed his neighbour, despite their arguing. However, he needed to push that homesickness aside. He still had a mission to accomplish. His heart was happy at the thought of Tia and Cheyenne finding their paths in life. He'd see them again in Radiator Springs.

The Volkswagen was about to turn back into the room when he caught a familiar flash of blue in his peripheral vision. He drove forward, curious. A scream froze him in his tracks.

"ALRIGHT! WHO DID THIS?"

Li! It was Li! Fillmore turned back into the mansion and hurriedly drove to the other side where the girls' rooms were. One of the camera crew was there, looking confused.

A door in the corridor burst open and Li bounced out of her room. All four of her tires were deflated.

"WHO DID THIS?" The Datsun demanded, glaring around the corridor where the other doors were opening.

"It wasn't me!" Everly grumbled, wobbling out of the corridor, her tires also deflated.

"Or me," Bianca held out her front tire as proof.

"Ladies," Fillmore tried to sooth them, about to remind the girls that all of them were too big to sneak into each other's rooms. He was interrupted as Angela screeched into the corridor, already freshly waxed for the day.

"Fillmore! What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I heard the scream," Fillmore responded. The Mini Cooper ushered him to the side as several pink forklifts whizzed into the corridor, ready to replace the tires or pump the air back in.

"You're not supposed to be here," Angela whispered heatedly to him. "It's against the rules!"

"Ang, rules are put in place by those who don't understand," Fillmore sighed as he explained. "These girls, they could have needed me. I go where I'm needed."

"Yes, well, please go back to your room," Angela demanded. "You can check on the girls later. Right now we need to fix this."

"Alright, Ang," Fillmore relented. "I know you'll take good care of them."

"Bye, Fillmore!" Claire called out as she saw the van leaving. "Thanks for coming to check on us."

"For you ladies," Fillmore called out. "I'll come anytime you need me."


	5. Episode 5 - Everly and Claire

After their tires were replaced or filled up with air, the girls went downstairs where breakfast was brought to them. Everly sipped her oil gratefully, happy to have her tires reinflated. Li was grumbling, questioning whether one of the forklifts had done it for a joke. Angela was quick to assure her that all employees in the mansion were completely respectable and that a full investigation would be conducted.

Satisfied that Li was pacified, Angela brought out the envelope that would announce the date for the day. Claire took it eagerly and ripped it open.

 _Everly_ , she read. _Let's go where the petals fall_.

The green truck perked up as she heard her name. A date? With her? And petals? Would they be flower petals?

"That's you!" Li smiled at Everly.

"What do you think it means?" Bianca asked.

"Perhaps something with flowers," Karin suggested, knowing her fellow contestant liked them.

Everly finished her breakfast and drove out towards the entrance.

"Bye, Evey," Lilith sighed. "Have fun today."

"Thanks, I think I will," Everly smiled nervously. There was a truck waiting for her. That meant they'd have quite a distance to drive.

"So, Everly?" Angela asked, parked across from Everly in the trailer. "What do you think of Fillmore so far?"

"He's a real sweetie, bless his engine," the truck replied honestly. "I don't know him that well, but so far he's been real nice to everyone. I'm looking forward to today."

"You aren't nervous at all?" Angela prodded.

"Why would I be nervous?" Everly asked.

"Well… It is a competition for his love," the Mini said slowly.

"FIllmore's got enough love to go around," the truck sounded confident.

 _Drat_ , Angela thought to herself. _Even the ladies in this show don't have enough drama_.

They finally reached their destination and Everly eagerly backed out of the ramp. She turned around and the sight she saw left her beaming.

"Well, blow me over and call me a Fiat!" She exclaimed. "Flowers!"

It was a flower show. Dozens upon dozens of dazzling colours almost blinded her. The smell left her smiling after her outburst and she knew, instantly, this was exactly where she wanted to be.

"I take it you like it?" Fillmore rolled up beside her with a small smile.

"I love it!" Everly said enthusiastically. "I'm happier than an ant at a picnic."

"Good, Eve, good," the Volkswagen nodded. "Just breathe it in."

Together, the two of them rolled through the stands, Everly stopping every now and again to admire a particularly beautiful display.

Everything was going perfect. But Fillmore was observant and saw two minivans glance curiously at Everly as they passed.

"What's she doin' here?" One whispered to the other. No doubt she thought she was being discrete but both Fillmore and Everly caught it.

"I can be a truck and love flowers," Everly murmured to herself.

"This happen to you before?" Fillmore asked.

"Yeah," the truck sighed, sinking a little lower into her suspension. "For some reason cars think I'm a guy… Guess it's the paint job."

"Everly," Fillmore said gently. "You can't let other people define who you are."

"I know," Everly mumbled.

Fillmore waited a little longer, biding his time. She finally turned towards him.

"It's just, I'm so used to being a truck. I don't reckon anyone'll ever be able to see past the green paint," she nodded towards it. "But I don't wanna change it, I like my colour."

"You like flowers as well," Fillmore reasoned.

"Guess I'll always be a strange one," Everly spun her front tire backwards on the ground, a little habit she picked up whenever she was sad.

"Yes," Fillmore suddenly blocked her. "Be the strange one, Everly."

She blinked at him and the van continued.

"Be the strange one," the hippie kept going, a passionate light suddenly lighted in his eyes. "And in that way, you can be a beacon of light to all the other strange ones."

"You mean…" Everly said slowly. "I should make like… a statement?"

Fillmore settled back, watching the wheels turn in her head.

"Hm… a statement."

They spent the whole morning at the market and Fillmore bought her a bouquet of flowers of her choosing. The excited truck whizzed right past Angela when the hostess tried to interview her back at the mansion.

"What do you think, Fillmore?" Angela asked. "How do you feel about her?"

"I feel like she knows what to do now, Ang," the hippie nodded.

"And you?" Angela prodded again. "Do you know what _you_ need to do?"

"I've always known."

Bill focused the camera on Fillmore driving away, but couldn't help but glance at Angela's expression instead. Man, the Mini looked annoyed.

* * *

Bianca was enjoying her time at the mansion. She hadn't had a chance to go on a date with Fillmore during this second week, but knew the van would invite her eventually. He gave everyone a fair and equal chance which was one of the things she liked about him.

But did she love him? There wasn't a flutter in her engine when she talked to him. He was an interesting car that gave her plenty to think about. Although she was a very accomplished car and didn't need a lot of direction, she'd always wanted love.

The Ferrari decided that a drive would do her good and went outside in the gardens. It was dusk, and Fillmore would be arriving back with Everly any moment now.

Bianca stopped to admire a particular beautiful rose. Almost the same dark burgundy as she was, it curled around a statue, it's petals reaching up to the sun.

She was so deep in thought that she gave a startled yelp when something bumped into her. She sped forward, turned her wheels and reversed, then gave a sigh of relief when she saw what had touched her. It was a little blue forklift carrying a basket. He looked up at her with a small smile.

"Scusami," he apologized for crashing into her.

"You… speak Italian?" Bianca asked, forgetting to switch to her native tongue. The forklift nodded and turned towards the statue, deftly trimming some of the crumbled up rose leaves.

Bianca wanted to say something but couldn't form the words. Instead she saw one of the trucks maneuvering its way up the road and towards the mansion. Fillmore and Everly must be back. Unable to come up with anything to say, the Ferrari made her way back to the mansion.

What a sweet little forklift.

* * *

Fillmore's next date was with the lovely Claire LeTracke.

 _Claire_ , the letter read. _There's so much to show you_.

"Alright," the ditzy car jumped up. "I'm ready to go!"

Angela again rode with Claire in the truck ride to the date. Claire wasn't nervous at all and instead chatted the Mini's ear off the entire ride over.

"I'm really excited for this," she said. "I mean, usually I'm not into vans at _all_ , but Fillmore's really something else. This'll be fun. Do you know where we're going? Can you tell me now?"

Claire found out what they were doing for a date soon enough. It was, quite frankly, a hippie festival.

"Hiya, Fillmore," Claire greeted, meeting Fillmore in front of a booth with natural fuel "What are we doing here?"

"Claire," Fillmore pushed a can towards her. "We're here to experience real culture. Have some organic fuel."

"Why make your own fuel? Can't you just buy it?" Claire asked, looking at the colourful can with interest.

"Taste it," FIllmore encouraged. "Then you'll see why."

Claire took a careful sip. Then another one. It was… pretty yummy! She liked it.

"It's good," she nodded. "But isn't it a lot of work?"

Fillmore smiled slightly. Ah, Claire. She hadn't had a lot of exposure in her life. Rich parents made her a little aloof and oblivious as to the real world.

"Everything is worth putting a little hard work into," he said. "Let me show you."

Together they drove off between the booths, Claire listening eagerly as her date told her everything about organic fuel and its purposes. He introduced her to several of his protest buddies of the 60s who had settled in their own small towns. A band was playing lazily in the corner and Claire pulled Fillmore into the crowd, spinning eagerly as she heard the beat.

Fillmore swayed lazily from side to side, enjoying Claire's enthusiasm. He was breaking boundaries, showing Claire a whole new world that she had missed. This was what he was here for.


	6. Episode 6 - Bianca and Li

Li finally got her date on Wednesday morning.

 _Li_ , the card read. _Let's go relax today_.

The Datsun, who'd been a little high strung since the flat tire incident, immediately whizzed to the carwash to go get ready. Clean and waxed, she met Angela by the truck.

"You're looking really pretty, Li," Angela complimented as the trailer door closed.

"You saying I don't usually look pretty?" Li fired back at the hostess, New-York accent cutting through.

"No, not at all," the Mini soothed. 'I can just see you put some extra effort into your appearance. How do you feel about today?"

"Glad it's finally my turn," Li said happily. "I mean, it's kinda hard to hang out with Fillmore what with you telling us about the rules and everything."

"Oh… Well…" Angela fumbled with the right words. Reversing a little, she mumbled into her mic, "hey, Bill, maybe we should mute…"

"You talkin' to me?" The high-strung Dutson demanded. "YOU TALKIN' TO ME, ANGELA?"

The Mini quickly assured Li that she most certainly wasn't talking to her, or talking down to her in any way at all.

They finally arrived at their destination, much to Angela's relief. For Li's date, Fillmore had chosen a cute little tea shop on the outskirts of the city. Li backed out of the trailer curiously.

"He's waiting inside for you," one of the camera crew said. Li pushed open the door and drove inside. Strange smells drifted around the store. Cans of all shapes and sizes were hanging by the windows, some of them porcelain.

"Li," Fillmore greeted, and the Datsun saw him parked by a small table. A forklift was there with a bandana wrapped around her above her eyes.

"Hey, Fillmore," Li came over and parked across from him. "What's this all about?"

It came out a little bit harsh and demanding but Fillmore didn't take offense.

"I know, Li," the Volkswagen said slowly. "That you are often quite stressed."

Li glanced down, mouth pulling up into a frown. Well, yeah, she was a bit intense sometimes. She came from a second-generation Asian family in New York for crying out loud! They had places to go and things to do!

"I've been trying to relax," she said firmly. "But New York moves fast and you gotta move fast with it." She stomped her front tire down and winced as some of the porcelaine cans shuddered.

"Li, you've done spectacular with relaxing," Fillmore wasn't thrown off by her show of defensiveness. "But today, I'm going to show you a trick."

"What trick's that?" Li asked, moving forward a little.

"Tea," Fillmore nodded to the forklift. She deftly lifted a teapot, swirled it, then slowly poured some of the warm liquid into a teapot. The smoke drifted up and Li shuffled a little closer, liking how warm it was.

"Breath it in," Fillmore said, taking a deep breath to show how it was done. Li followed his example and felt herself relaxing. This tea thing… she liked it.

Angela was almost afraid to interview Li after her date but tried anyway.

"I liked it," Li grinned, lugging several tea bags towards the kitchen back at the mansion. "I'm going to go practice right now!"

"Practice?"

"Sure, Ang," Fillmore came up beside the Mini. "True relaxation requires practice."

Bill tried unsuccessfully to suppress his laughter in the background.

* * *

Karin was making her way back to her room. Fillmore had chosen a date with Li for the morning. It really didn't surprise her. Fillmore was such a gentlecar, giving every lady the same amount of time, not showing any preference. Karin wasn't sure how she felt about that. On the one hand it showed that Fillmore was willing to give anyone a chance and didn't judge on appearances. On the other hand, was he a car she wanted to spend a significant amount of time with? She was starting to think that yes, he was.

The Opel Rekord was pulled out of her thoughts as she saw Bianca parked by a banister, looking dreamily outside. Karin braked before turning in to park beside her.

"What is it, Bianca?" She asked, accent still heavy. She was happy to find another European to talk to. Although Germany and Italy weren't exactly neighbours it was refreshing to talk to another car who wasn't raised in America.

"Just... the gardener," the Ferrari sighed dreamily. Karin glanced over the railing curious. A little blue forklift was down there, pulling weeds. He glanced up to them and waved in a friendly manner. The Opel gave him a smile but Bianca pulled back. If she weren't so red Karin was sure she could see the Ferrari blushing.

"What is it, Bianca?" She asked worriedly.

"He waved at me," Bianca flushed. "Oh, he noticed me."

"Well, ja," Karin nodded. "It is rather hard not to." She lifted up her tire to indicate that Bianca was, well, a red Ferrari.

"Is he not handsome," Bianca sighed, driving backwards as her powerful engine hummed.

"I suppose..." Karin was confused. Bianca wasn't listening as she drove off, humming an Italian love song to herself. The German car was left stunned. Bianca... in love with a little forklift gardener. How completely bizarre.

* * *

Li had practiced making tea for most of the afternoon and that night at supper she presented everyone with a cup. All the contestants noticed she looked a whole lot more relaxed and less defensive. The only lady not present was Everly.

"Has anyone seen her?" Li questioned. "Her tea will get cold."

"She went down to the workshop," Lilith spoke up. "Saw her talking to some of the forklifts."

"Is she ok?" Claire asked.

Fillmore was about to ask a forklift serving them about Everly's health when her engine sounded. The doors to the dining room flew open and all the contestants glanced up.

There was Everly, still in her dark green paint job. But as she drove further into the room everyone stared. With the help of a designer and the forklifts, Everly had added pink flowers down her side. They were arranged in a clever little pattern, flowing from her front headlights all the way to the back ones. Small, not flashy, but most certainly noticeable against her dark green paint.

Fillmore smiled.

"You're all quieter than a church mouse," Everly mumbled. "What do you think?"

"Everly!" Claire exclaimed first. "It's beautiful!"

She rushed over to the truck and ran a tire down her side.

"You got a new paint job?" Bianca asked.

"It's so pretty," Lilith came closer, comparing Everly's flowers to her own.

"Why'd you do it?" Li asked, going around to the truck's other side.

Everly met Fillmore's eyes and the van gave her a small nod.

"I'm a truck," she shrugged. "But I like flowers. Ain't nothing wrong with that."

* * *

Bianca's date card for the week indicated a restaurant.

 _Bianca. Let me offer you a taste of home_.

Sure enough, she met him for lunch at quaint little Italian place that had a view overlooking hills and valleys.

"Fillmore," she greeted, smiling as the black Fiat waiter showed her to the table.

"Bianca," the hippie smiled, pushing the wine list towards her. "Please, choose whatever you want."

Bianca accepted the list graciously. She'd gone on a few other dates before and those cars had always insisted on choosing the wine for themselves. That was one of the things she liked about Fillmore - he was willing to allow someone with more experience make the decisions. Her ex boyfriend, a rather dull French car, had always insisted on picking the wine, and would often pick the worst possible ones.

The wine came and the two cars clinked the glasses together. A soft Frank Siata song was playing in the background and Bianca felt at ease.

"So, Bianca," Fillmore asked, breaking the lazy silence. "How you've been doing?"

"Good, very good," Bianca nodded, but there was a tint to her voice. Just a little bit of sadness.

"Missing your work?" The Volkswagen prodded. He knew Bianca was an accomplished professor who had studied at Carvard University and even taught for a while at Carbridge. An accomplished car like her might be feeling a little restless after a week of pampering. Or perhaps it was more than that.

"No, not as much as I thought I would," the Ferrari sighed, glancing out over the countryside.

"Tell me, Bianca," Fillmore said quietly. "What's on your mind? I can see it's weighing you down."

Bianca glanced down and took a sip of her wine through the straw. Should she tell FIllmore? Yes, the professor decided. She would tell him.

"I've found someone I think I'm in love with," she admitted quietly. Fillmore's eyes lit up and a small smile appeared on his kind face.

"This is great news, Bianca," he said, pushing his glass aside. "You must go, pursue this car, and tell him how you feel."

"He isn't a car," the Ferrari sighed. "And I don't think that would be entirely proper."

"Love has no boundaries," Fillmore said resolutely, glancing out across the countryside. "Tell me… Who is it?"

Bianca almost told him. But remembering the mics and the cameras she hesitated. But this was Fillmore, right? She could trust him.

The Ferrari drove forward quickly and whispered something just loud enough for Fillmore to hear. In the back of the restaurant, Angela and Bill were watching the interaction on screen.

"What'd she say?" Angela demanded.

"Dunno," Bill shrugged. "Mics didn't pick it up."

Fillmore's smile turned into a grin as he heard who Bianca was in love with. For there was no doubt in the van's mind that this was indeed love. In fact, it was destiny.

"It's silly, I know," Bianca glanced down, taking a sip of wine.

"Not at all, Bianca," Fillmore assured her. "Not at all. In fact, once this show is over, I'll introduce you."

"You… know him?" The Ferrari sounded optimistic.

"It's destiny, Bianca," Fillmore settled back on his suspension. "Of course I know him."

* * *

 **Frank Siata is supposed to be the Carsverse equivalent of Frank Sinatra. Siata was an Italian car company.**


	7. Episode 7 - Second Rose Ceremony

If the show wasn't popular before it sure was after the episode released that showed Bianca's date. #WhoDoesBiancaLove went viral on Twitter and everyone was offering theories, ranging from valid to complete conspiracy.

Sarge didn't know or care who Bianca loved. Perhaps it was one of Fillmore's hippie friends from the 60s. Luigi, on the other hand, agonized about it for about an hour, interrogating Guido on all the male cars in the mansion. Guido said there were only a couple, most of whom had been there for several years and not one of which Fillmore knew.

Finally, Luigi vowed that he would support the Ferrari's decision and came to park beside Sarge. He was staring deep into the little fire they had lit in the middle of their camp, every now and then shoving a stick onto it.

"We initiate your second plan tonight, no?" Luigi asked, rolling forward a little closer to the flames to enjoy the heat.

"That's right," Sarge nodded. They were waiting for the early hours of the morning before sneaking onto the premises.

Luigi nodded, playing with a small rock in between the treads of his tire.

"Tell me, Sarge," he finally looked at the Jeep inquisitively. "Why do you do this?"

"What do you mean?" Sarge shot the Fiat a strange glance as if he were confused.

"All this…" Luigi lifted a tire up dramatically as he searched for the right word. "Effort. If Fillmore finds himself a beautiful lady, why does this bother you so much?"

"Because it might be another hippie," Sarge shot back defensively. Luigi, seeing right through the lie, said nothing, but fixed Sarge with an unimpressed look. His mouth set itself into an unbelieving line, and Sarge realized he had no choice but to tell the truth.

"If he meets someone he might move away," the Jeep mumbled, shoving a stick onto the fire again.

Luigi sat back, finally happy to get an answer.

"Do not worry about that," the Fiat assured. "He is far too attached to his property and riling you up to consider such a thing."

"Perhaps," Sarge mumbled. "But I've worked too hard to lose anything again."

Sarge had invested years of his life into Radiator Springs. For awhile he thought that he would lose everything due to the interstate, but that was before Lightning had shown up. Despite Luigi's words, Sarge knew there was still a risk of Fillmore moving away… forever. He'd lost too much in his life already. He wasn't going to loose his best friend and worst neighbor as well.

* * *

The ladies all woke up that morning by the ringing of a fire alarm. Small tendrils of smoke were drifting from the paint booth attached the mansion. Worried, but still mostly calm, the contestants raced towards the courtyard. Li went first, speeding for all she was worth. Karin brought up the rear, driving slowly and keeping her wits about her.

Li's beautiful white paint was the first to suffer as she plowed into the courtyard… which was covered in three inches of mud. Luigi, Guido, and Sarge had been hard at work during the night, lugging water from the pool and dumping it into the courtyard.

"EWWW!" The New Yorker exclaimed, revving her engine, which resulted in her tires spinning in the mud.

"Watch where you're spraying that!" Everly shouted, watching in dismay as her new paint job got ruined. None too gently, she shoved Li out of the sticky mess.

"A little assistance… please?" Bianca asked. The Ferrari had crashed into the mud with a splat and was struggling to push herself out.

"Don't spin, you'll only get stuck further," Karin commented from the edge. The Opel Rekord didn't like driving fast, and as a result was the only contestant who didn't get stuck in the trap.

"Can someone shut that fire alarm off!" Claire yelled, glaring behind them where the alarm was still blaring.

 _Trrrriiiiiiiiiiii Triiiiiiiii_

The high-pitched sound was giving everybody a headache.

"It's actually nice and cool," Lilith commented as she sludged her way out of the mud, shaking her tires on the cement.

Claire flaired around for a while longer until Everly waded back into the mess and gave her a boost out. Karin bravely went behind Bianca and pushed the Ferrari out of the mess, reversing herself once her fellow contestant was safe.

The fire alarm finally shut off.

"Where's Fillmore?" Lilith asked, looking around miserably. The mud wasn't cool anymore. In the sun it was starting to become hard, crusty, and itchy.

"I thought he'd come once he heard the alarm," Claire agreed.

"Angela probably kept him from coming," Li glared in annoyance.

"Ja, she's a real Fräun Rottenmeier," Karin nodded, shaking the wet mud off her tires.

As if on cue, the Mini Cooper whizzed into the courtyard, screeching to the side to avoid the mud. Behind her were several forklifts, and her wax job for the day was only half-done .

"Alright, nothing to see here!" She exclaimed, but stopped short. "What _happened_?"

"Zat is what we would all like to know," Karin frowned.

Angela quickly gave orders and the forklifts dispersed over the area to clear up the mess. The ladies were escorted to the car washes so that they could be cleaned while the source of the smoke was investigated. It was discovered to be a small, scented candle that had been lit underneath the smoke alarm. Anyone could have put it there.

Unfortunately there were no security cameras in the hallway but one of the camera vans had managed to tape the mud scene.

"We sending this to the producers?" He asked as Bill watched the footage. The van had managed to film everything until Angela had spotted him and chased him away.

"Yeah," the Chevy grinned. "We'll send them all of it."

* * *

Clean, but not completely dry, the contestants were all sitting by the half-empty pool, each one under her own heat lamp. Claire and Lilith were still shivering, but Li was looking around suspiciously.

"Alright," she demanded. "Which one of you did it?"

"Did what?" Everly snapped. As the biggest of the contestants, she was struggling to get the heat from the lamp evenly distributed over her.

"Made the mess," Li continued. "And caused the fire alarm to go off!"

"Are you accusing one of us?" Lilith asked incredulously.

"You see anyone else?" The New Yorker snapped.

"Li, I think that's a little unreasonable…" Karin tried to reason.

"It isn't quite impossible," Bianca mused.

"So which one of you was it?" Li demanded.

"I think it was you!" Claire accusingly pointed a tire. "The guilty party is always the first to bring it up!"

"You wanna say that to my face?" The New Yorker jumped forward, ready for a fight. Everly drove forward, shoving her tire in front of Li and pushing her back.

"Alright, that's enough!" She demanded. "There'll be no fightn'"

"Realistically it would have been Everly," Bianca mused. The truck turned around, completely offended.

"Ja, she's right," Karin nodded. "You are the biggest."

"Honey, you're cruisin' for a bruisin'," the truck warned, driving towards the two foreigners. Her new flower paint job did nothing to make her less intimidating.

The result was Everly threatening the two foreigners as Li and Claire tried to out-shout each other.

"Oh, I wish FIllmore was here," Lilith lamented, curling back towards the heat lamp in an attempt to make herself smaller.

"Ladies! Ladies!"

The contestants snapped silent as a voice came from the mansion. As one they turned around or reversed. Fillmore was there, driving towards them slowly.

"Ladies," he parked in the middle of their half-circle and looked at each of them in disappointment. "I know you're upset, and rightly so. Whoever played this cruel prank on you clearly lacks love in their life."

The contestants calmed down and all looked at each other, feeling just a smidgen of guilt at losing their emotions.

"I know none of you would be so cruel, so heartless," Fillmore turned to each of them. "Accusing each other… that's not how we should go about this. We gotta keep the love. That way the enemy can't win."

Later that night, while rewatching the footage, Angela stared in disbelief as the contestants apologized to each other.

"Did… he just dissuade most of the drama we've had this season?" She asked Bill.

"Yip," the truck answered.

"Unbelievable."

* * *

The second rose ceremony went just about as well as the first one. Bianca offered to leave so that Fillmore could spend more time with some of the other contestants. She didn't want to leave the little forklift gardener but Fillmore had promised her he'd introduce them as soon as the competition was finished. Bianca got to take home a _real_ rose (much to Luigi's relief).

Claire's parents had sent a helicopter for her after hearing about the strange accidents at the mansion. The Chevrolet was sad to leave but perked up immediately at the thought of visiting Fillmore in Radiator Springs.

"Bye, Fillmore!" She called out from the helicopter, leaning out and waving a tire enthusiastically.

Luigi shed several tears as Bianca left the mansion but Guido was strangely quiet.

"Pull yourself together, soldier!" Sarge had scolded. Luigi did and Sarge was satisfied. It was time for them to plan. Their mud chaos had caused at least one contestant to leave, although it appeared to Sarge that Fillmore was chasing the ladies away pretty darn well by himself.

Still, the Jeep was worried that things weren't moving fast enough. Only half of the contestants were left and the final rose ceremony wasn't far away. It was time for their attacks to become more personal - more direct. He'd rewatched all the dates he could but didn't learn much as they were mostly Fillmore spouting off nonsense. Very amusing for the average viewer who didn't have the hippie for a permanent neighbour.

Sarge needed ammunition. Little did he know, Fillmore would soon be providing just that.

* * *

 **Fräun Rottenmeier is a play on words that a reader from Switzerland might get.** **Fräulein** **Rottenmeier is a strict housekeeper from a Swiss book called Heidi. Faun is a company that makes waste disposal vehicles. Not a very flattering comparison.**


	8. Episode 8 - Lilith and Karin

_Lilith_ , the Beetle's date card read. _Let's just talk together_.

It was exactly what she wanted. Her and Fillmore met in the meditation field where he offered her a can of some of his organic fuel. Their conversation eventually resulted in an exchange of conspiracy theories.

"Bigtire EXISTS. I know it. I've seen his tire treads before!"

"The ghostlight as well, man!"

"Nothing good ever happens to me. It's because of the fuel pumps… I know it."

"Those oil companies are trying to shut us down, to keep the truth from coming out! I know they're responsible for trying to drive us out of business!"

"I'm telling you, that Dinoco car is everywhere."

"He is," Fillmore agreed. It felt amazing to spend time with Lilith. Both of them functioned on the same level. "Almost like there's two of them."

"A twin," Lilith's eyes widened.

They swapped conspiracy theories for a while longer before Lilith finally gathered together her courage. She told him just before they entered the mansion grounds.

"Fillmore," the Beetle said softly. "I love you, man."

She tentatively drove towards him and kissed him on the side.

"Thanks, Lilith," Fillmore smiled, snuggling up to the smaller car. "I love you, too."

* * *

 _Karin_ , _I know you're missing home_.

That was all the Opel Rekord had to go on for her date. She was curious, but trusted Fillmore completely. In fact, she found him a breath of fresh air in this strange culture. In a country driven by technology, he was natural, calm, and laid back.

With some help from Angela, Fillmore had found the perfect place to take the German on a date. It was a helicopter's ride away, but would be worth it.

Karin beamed as she drove into Disney World's Germantown. It was just like home! Little store windows showed all of the German things she had missed. It wasn't overly commercialized like the rest of the country. Although there was a hustle and bustle of little cars all around her, Karin didn't mind the chaos one bit. She went into every store and talked to the locals who were working there in German.

She finally remembered Fillmore and drove out to look for him. He was standing by a fountain, two beers ordered for them.

"Fillmore, dis is fantastic!" Karin beamed, taking a sip.

"I thought you'd enjoy it," Fillmore beamed at her excitement.

"Ja, I am!" Although they had the whole of Disney World's Epcot center at their disposal, Karin was content to sit in the little Germany corner, beaming while listening to the bouncy music.

Up on one of the buildings, Bill sat filming the whole thing, enjoying the Beer he had gotten himself. Angela wasn't impressed at the lack of champagne or all the screaming children.

"Thank you for bringing me here," Karin finally said. "It is nice to see a little bit of home again."

"Anything for you, Kar," Fillmore said smoothly, gently helping a little car down from the edge of the fountain. Karin watched the small family chatting happily as they drove away.

"I sometimes wonder," she thought out loud. "If I'll ever fit in. It is so strange is America, so big and loud."

"It's the corporate giants and capitalism," the Volkswagen explained. "They don't define the real America. If you want to come see us for who we truly are, come to Radiator Springs."

"Zat is the small town you are from, is it not?" Karin asked curiously.

"Yip," Fillmore nodded. "I think all you ladies should come visit. It's a place where we can all be ourselves without any rules made by producers."

"I would like that," Karin replied. "But my accent. Will it not stick out?"

"Of course it will," the van said slowly. "But Kar, there's nothing wrong with it. Wherever you go, you radiate goodness. Keep being who you are. The whole town will love to get to know you."

The date ended sooner than Karin would have liked and Angela quickly interviewed her.

"What do you think about him now?" the hostess asked

"I think…" Karin smiled slightly. "I'm really starting to like him. He's very kind."

 _Finally_ , Angela thought to herself. If Lilith and Karin were both falling for Fillmore, there was hope for the final rose ceremony yet.

* * *

For one season, and one season alone, it became socially acceptable to watch the Bachelor. Critics called it 'refreshing' and 'an eye opener'. The views reached new heights as most of the Piston Cup racers tuned in. It was off season - not much else to do. Hashtags flew around Twitter as sides began to form as to which lady would be perfect for Fillmore. Or, more importantly, which lady would fit into the racing scene. #PickYourSide was Mater's favourite and he wholeheartedly believe that Karin was the one for Fillmore. Lightning believed it should be Lilith.

"Knowing Fillmore he'll probably pick both of them," Sheriff grumbled. "He's already invited half the country to Radiator Springs."

"It's good publicity,' Ramone defended the hippie, happy that the town had already been mentioned several times.

"Oh, he'll have to pick only one," Sally agreed. "That hostess won't let it go that far. Not during the final ceremony."

Not even the Weathers family were immune to the temptation of seeing hilarity and ended up in the living room together whenever the show played. They all chuckled at the ridiculous Dinoco twin theory.

"A twin, Tex," Strip quipped. "Where do you keep him?"

"Locked in a cupboard upstairs," Tex replied without missing a beat.

Bobby, Brick and Junior even made bumper stickers and started treating the whole thing like a football match instead of a reality tv show. Doc could only shake himself in disbelief. What was the world coming to?

* * *

They were back in the meditation field, Fillmore's favourite date location. It was a group date and all four contestants were parked in a circle, expecting to meditate again. Everly felt like she could use a good nap.

"Today," Fillmore started slowly. "We're going to talk about fears."

The contestants glanced at each other, a little confused.

"Fears?" Li asked. "What do you mean?"

"Fears," Fillmore said slowly. "Like your fear of water."

The Datsun backed up a smidgen, not liking the fact that Fillmore had noticed it. Or that it had been mentioned.

"I'm only scared of it if it's rising," she murmured. Lilith came beside her and nudged her tire in a comforting way.

"Hey, Li, it's ok," she soothed. "I'm afraid of heights… and fuel pumps."

"Good, Lilith, good," Fillmore nodded before turning to the other two contestants.

"I do not like driving over 50 miles per hour," Karin volunteered. "Or uncultured Russian cars." She gave an involuntary little shiver at the thought of them.

"I used to be afraid of being seen as guyish," Everly spoke up. "But that ain' going to happen now. You've gotta be dumber than a box of lugnuts to think this is guyish." She nodded towards her new paint job.

"Good, Everly, good," Fillmore said encouragingly. "Anything else?"

The truck thought for a while longer.

"Bein' stuck in the big city," she admitted with no shame.

Seeing the rest of her fellow contestants admit to their fears so easily, Li felt encouraged.

"I also don't like earthquakes or hurricanes," she admitted softly.

"Or Dracucar!" Lilith jumped forward. "He's terrifying."

"Thank you all for being so honest," Fillmore looked at them gratefully. "Now we're going to work through several mental exercises to help you face all of these fears. Together, we can conquer them and put them all behind us."

The rest of the date consisted of them taking deep breaths, running through scenarios together, and trying to conquer their fears.

Angela really wasn't impressed at all. For some reason the views were shooting through the roof meaning the public was seeing something in Fillmore that they liked. She sure couldn't see it.

Unbeknownst to the hostess, a Jeep in the forest was having a completely different reaction to the fears date.

"Yes!" Sarge exclaimed excitedly as he watched the episode with Luigi and Guido. "This is it! Exactly what we needed. Fillmore, you're an idiot!"

"He's trying to help them," Luigi deadpanned, watching the Jeep grab a notebook. Sarge shushed them until the episode was finished.

"He may _think_ he's helping them," the Jeep smirked. "But tomorrow night we'll see which one of them has really 'conquered' their fears."

"Yes, yes," Luigi rolled his eyes. He'd been so done with this 'mission' before it had even started. Now that Bianca was gone he really didn't care what they did, so long as they didn't hurt anybody.

"Guido," Sarge glanced towards the forklift. "Come with me, we've got some planning to do."

Together the two drove towards the pile of tools Sarge had brought with them. The Jeep started planning, talking animatedly with Guido. Luigi left them, happy that at least Guido was enthusiastic.

He was so ready to go home.

* * *

Veteran's day. Sarge had been waiting for this since the beginning of the silly reality tv show. Of course, the stupid producers didn't see any reason to stop the show, or even _mention_ the special holiday. With this final attack, he would get rid of _all_ the contestants and have a little petty revenge as well. This night, the veteran decided, would be _The Bachelor_ 's Waterloo.


	9. Episode 9 - Chaos at the mansion

Sarge couldn't help but admit that he was proud of himself. This plan was ingenious. Hopefully he'd get rid of half the competition in one fell swoop. It would be spectacular. He shook himself and forced his mind to stay focused. Even the best plans could go astray if arrogance got in the way.

The ladies had gone on another group 'meditation date' in the field. That meant half of them had probably fallen asleep again. As a result, half of them would still be awake, which was actually rather a good thing. That half hazy point between asleep and awake was exactly what was needed.

Both him and Luigi were in the compound for this specific part of the plan. Luigi had protested that what they were doing was vandalism but Sarge only wrote it off as collateral damage. These reality tv mongols wanted a war, well they would get one.

The Jeep checked his missile launcher for the third time then glanced at the roof. As soon as Guido gave him the signal he'd be ready. Turns out the little forklift was quite the recruit! Sarge thought he'd be excellent as reconnaissance, so quiet and small.

Guido gave the signal, crossing his forklifts together over his cab. Sarge nodded and turned to the launcher. Three... Two... One... Fire!

The rocks flew out of the turrets and crashed through three of the windows.

Li screamed as the sound of the grass breaking resembled a hurricane. She burst through the door, almost crashing into Karin who slammed into the wall in the hallway. Everly had given a gasp but managed not to scream. All three of them were in the hallway and Karin was just peeking out when Guido set off the fireworks on the roof.

Sarge watched with pride as Guido repelled off the roof and down the side, his harness acting just it it should. Guido unhooked it at just the right time and zipped towards Sarge.

The fireworks caused the girls to scream and charge towards the ramp, needing to get out as quickly as possible. Guido had started with the Diadems and Roman Candles. By the time Fillmore shuffled his way out of his room into the hallway the Crosettes were going off.

"Ladies..." the van said.. "It's important not to panic. Let's file down in a nice orderly fashion. Everything will be alright."

"Can you please move?" Lilith was squeaking behind Karin who was moving far too slowly.

"I am moving," Karin said nervously. Another firework whistled through the air and Li squealed as the Horsetails crackled and popped ominously.

"Fillmore's right!" She squeezed past Karin. "Now is no time to panic! Let's move!"

They fumbled down the dark hallway until they reached the door. A light suddenly switched on and several cans of oil crashed to the floor, adding more noise to the chaos.

"IT'S BIGTIRE!" Lilith screeched, quivering up against Fillmore.

Painted on the mansion doors, towering high above them, was Bigtire. The paint was still wet and dripping ominously. Fillmore glanced behind him and thought he saw a flash of familiar yellow disappear out of the kitchen.

"I don't like this," Everly muttered as Li squeezed up next to her.

Fillmore, seeing all of the contestants so frightened, took action. Backing up, he revved his engine. The ladies gasped as laid back, relaxed, calm Fillmore charged forward towards the Bigtire painted doors. He rammed through them, causing the wood to splinter under his frame. The brown paint smeared across his front but he screeched to a halt outside

Li was the first to react and raced through the Fillmore-sized hole. Karin and Lilith followed with Everly taking the rear.

"Alright," Fillmore glanced at the contestants. "Let's all take a deep…"

He was interrupted as the second round of fireworks went off. Li screamed and hid behind Fillmore. Karin and Lilith hugged him on both sides.

Sarge, who was waiting patiently near the bushes, finally caught sight of two small figures racing towards him.

"Good work, soldiers!" He congratulated. Already hooked onto his cannon, the Jeep made his way towards the exit.

"I rigged the kitchen," Luigi reported, relatively proud of himself.

Guido chattered excitedly, describing to Luigi how he had rigged the fireworks, and how brilliantly they had gone off. The Skyrockets were just making the grand finale when they reached the gate. Luigi drove forward with the keycard and swiped it.

Together the three drove out of the iron gates, Sarge pausing and turning around to look at the finale. Excitement was coursing through his engine and he felt himself swell with pride. Their plan had been a success.

* * *

As the Skyrockets whistled and exploded into the air Angela finally made an appearance, a sleepy Bill behind her and several pink forklifts around her.

"What is going on here?' She demanded, bursting through the hole in the front door. The contestants hadn't been in their rooms and she had almost panicked. Once she saw them with Fillmore she relaxed… Until some Fountains started releasing their sizzling sound.

"Bill!" She shouted at the Chevy truck. "Get up there and shut those things down!"

"What, are you crazy?" The camera truck demanded. "You can't shut down fireworks."

"Go up there are try!" The Mini demanded, driving right up to him. Bill rolled his eyes and turned back towards the mansion.

"Last time I ever do this off season," he grumbled, nodding to one of the camera vans. Angela took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.

"Ladies," she turned towards the frightened group, putting on her best smile. "I am so sorry for all of this inconvenience. We'll have this mess cleared up and you can go back to sleep in no time."

A _whiiiizzzz pop_ sounded in the background as a final Skyrocket went off. Angela winced but kept her smile.

"Are you saying...We have to go back… in there?" Li pointed a shaky tire at the mansion.

"We'll make sure it's quite safe, I assure you," Angela tried.

"Honey, my Mamma didn't raise no lemon," Everly agreed with Li. "We're leaving!"

"You gotta stay!" Angela was panicking slightly. All the contestants leaving? No, that couldn't happen!

"Hey, Ang," Fillmore rolled forward. "If these ladies say they wanna go, we don't have the right to stop them. This could be a sign that it's time for them to find their own paths."

 _Or that we need better security_ , Angela thought to herself. However, she stayed quiet. Fillmore turned to the four remaining contestants and put on his most soothing smile.

"Ladies," he said. "There's no shame in wanting to go home tonight. All four of you are remarkable and talented. If you believe this is a sign for you to go, I won't stop you. You know you can come visit me anytime back home."

Karin and Lilith glanced at each other. Everly spun her wheel thoughtfully while Li shuffled forward slightly.

"I'd like to go home," Li finally spoke up. "I don't want to stay another night in there." She pointed to the mansion. It gave her the creeps.

"I'll go with her," Everly agreed.. "Guess my folks need to see my new paint job."

Fillmore turned to look at Karin and Lilith. Lilith spoke first.

"I'd like to stay," the Beetle sidled closer to Fillmore. "If Fillmore's staying."

The van shot her a gentle smile before turning his gaze to Karin. She gathered together her courage and nodded.

"Ja," she said resolutely. "If Fillmore's staying."

"Of course I'll stay," the van beamed. "Especially for you two."

Li drove forwards first and snuggled against Fillmore.

"Bye, Fillmore," she said before pulling back quickly.

Everly said her goodbyes as well and Fillmore stayed until the haulers came to pick them up. He stood by the road with the two other contestants and watched as the sun rose, signalling the beginning of a new day with only two contestants.

Angela was just relieved there were two left. Else the final rose ceremony would have been a disaster!

* * *

Sarge was brooding in his tent, watching as the mindless garbage of Fillmore's 'fear therapy' date played in front of him. His plan had only been partially successful. Only two of the four contestants had left. He'd needed at least three to leave! That way the producers would have no choice but to cancel the season for the final rose ceremony. To make matters worse, security had come in and changed the key cards! Now only Guido could sneak in through his hole in the hedge.

Not to mention Lilith was still around. The Jeep remembered how enthusiastic she had been over organic fuel. He didn't mind Karin so much. German, quiet, sensible… But Lilith would be just as bad as Fillmore. No, no, no, she would most certainly not do!

Sarge glanced up as Lilith started talking on the screen again. Ugh, she was just as big on conspiracies as Fillmore! Bigtire and Dracucar. What utter nonsen… The Jeep's train of thought suddenly screeched to a halt. He grinned slyly. Guido was the only one they needed.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" Luigi turned to Sarge.

"Of course it will!" The army Jeep explained, tapping a tire on their board. "Our resources show that enemy number one is terrified of him"

"Yes... but... Guido... isn't exactly... terrifying," Luigi glanced towards the forklift. He was wearing a black cape and red contact lenses. Little teeth were painted on his lip.

"Yes, but he's been practicing," Sarge explained. "Show him what you've done Guido."

Guido squinted his eyes and raised his forklifts. He _grred_ and his eyes flashed, looking absolutely terrifying. Sarge shivered inwardly. Yes... this was the stuff of nightmares.

Luigi wasn't impressed.

"I know it's you, Guido."

Sarge elected to ignore him. Dracucar Guido was _exactly_ what they needed.

* * *

They picked the perfect timing - the evening of the final rose ceremony. Angela was talking with Fillmore so she wouldn't get in the way. Lilith was on her way back from getting a wash and wax job, humming to herself. She turned into her room and stopped short.

Was there… a shadow behind the mirror? Lilith shrank back as the shadow took form. Dark cloak, sharp teeth, red eyes… It was Dracucar!

Guido, completely in character, raised his forklifts and gave a low hiss.

Lilith released a blood curdling scream and the only thing left in the hallway was rubber marks. With speed that would leave the camera crew and forklifts in shock for days she hightailed it down the ramp and out through the Fillmore sized hole in the door.

She didn't stop there and with another scream tore down the driveway and through the gate. Bill tried calling out after her but the Beetle's fear deafened her. She plowed down the road and into a bunch of bushes, heading for the hills so to speak.

From their camp, Sarga and Luigi heard the scream. The Jeep grinned. Angela was going to _freak_.


	10. Episode 10 - Final Rose Ceremony

Angela did freak, but not immediately.

While Lilith had still been having her wax job finished, Angela had gone to Fillmore. It was the final rose ceremony in a few hours and the Mini needed to make _sure_ Fillmore was going to choose only one lady.

"Ang," Fillmore turned towards her as she entered his room. "What brings you here?"

"Hey, Fillmore," the Mini greeted, rolling right up towards him. "Look, I got something to tell, and I'm just going to cut straight. Is that ok?"

"It sounds serious," the van gave her his full attention, thus signalling to her to continue.

"It is," the Mini nodded. She needed to pick her words carefully. The van had a tendency to get defensive if she attacked what he believed in. "Look… man…." maybe if she talked like him she'd get through. "You're a really nice guy. Kind, gentle, and generous… Lilith and Karin, they both like you a lot. Because of that, they want you to be honest with them."

"I have been honest with them," Fillmore said slowly.

"Yes, you have," the Mini continued. "But tonight, it's the final honesty test." Angela took a deep breath and continued. "Fillmore, these ladies came here for love - the type of love you can only give with one rose. You gotta be honest with them tonight, and award the rose to the one car you want to."

Fillmore didn't say anything but glanced in the mirror. Lilith and Karin… Both of them liked him it seemed. Perhaps it would lead to romantic love.

He was about to reply when a terrified scream broke him out of his thoughts.

"Lilith," Fillmore recognized the voice. He raced out of his room with Angela and towards the front entrance. They could just make out the Beetle's terrified form as it whizzed through the gate.

"LILITH!" Angela called out, but it was drowned by another blood-curdling scream from the little car.

Angela watched in shock and despair. The final rose ceremony was coming up - and they only had one contestant! What were they going to do?

* * *

Angela was driving back and forth in the hallway, waiting anxiously for the telephone to ring. This wasn't just bad, this was a disaster! They were live in less than an hour and there was still no sign of Lilith. They were going to lose a contestant! If she wasn't found there would be an outrage.

The whole ceremony was a bit of a sham anyway. All of the contestants had FIllmore's contacts details, they could just visit after the show. Still, the public didn't know that! There was supposed to be drama! Suspense!

Fillmore and Karin watched her, waiting for any news. Although Karin knew she would win by default if Lilith wasn't found, she didn't want to win under those conditions. Lilith was alone in the dark, probably scared out of her wits there in the wild. Karin only hoped someone would find her.

Inside Sarge's tent, Luigi, Guido, and Sarge were watching the tv screen. The show would be live soon, but until then, several ads and highlight reels were playing.

"They'll have to shut it down," Sarge was grinning. Victory was within driving distance at last!

"Then can we finally go home?" Luigi asked.

"Of course," Sarge glanced at him. "We'll be there, waiting for Fillmore when he arrives!"

All across the country, several cars were tuning in who didn't usually watch the show. The whole of Radiator Springs was watching along with Bobby, Brick, and Junior.

"Finally, the last one," Doc grunted. This stupid show was distracting Lightning from training and Doc had had enough.

The Weathers family were watching as well, excited to see the conclusion and which lady they'd meet at the track next season.

"Angela…" Bill glanced up from behind his camera. "We're on in a minute."

"Alright," Angela sighed. "Listen, we'll just say Lilith decided to quit the process and Karin will get the rose."

"That is not a good idea," Karin commented. "Lilith was enraptured by Fillmore - no one will believe she quit."

"That's all we got right now," Angela said. "Now hurry, get into place. Fillmore, go wait until I give you the cue!"

The hippie, surprisingly silent, went to park in the other room. Angela placed Karin in position before settling in front of the camera. Bill had made sure not to show the shattered door in the camera shot.

"Five...Four...Three…" Bill counted down. Seeing the signal, Angela put on her best hostess smile.

"Good evening and welcome to the final rose ceremony on the Bachelor. It's been three weeks of emotions, turmoil, and love. Now, the ultimate question? Has our bachelor found his bachelorette. Karin and Lilith were the only ones left…" (at this, Sarge grinned unashamedly), "...but unfortunately Lilith has decided this process is…."

"WAIT!" The sudden scream called Angela to jolt. Bill instinctively jerked the camera to the left, used to following the action in races. There, by the broken doors, stood Lilith. The Beetle was covered in twigs and dry leaves, but there was a determined look in her eyes.

A moment of awkward silence passed on air, before Angela distractedly waved a tire.

"Cut to ad breaks," she muttered. The last thing the audience saw was Karin racing towards the other contestant, a happy greeting escaping her.

* * *

"Gentlecars," Sarge turned towards the Fiat and forklift, muting the volume. It was clearly a huge blow to the Jeep that Lilith was back. He'd stood stunned for an entire minute until Luigi's coughing had shaken him out of his reverie.

"We tried our best," the Jeep continued. "We gave it our all. We fought every chance we got, we planned right down to the last detail. We were outnumbered, outmatched." Sarge's eyes hardened as he continued. "Still, we fought. And we did so nobly. We can accept defeat knowing that the stubbornness and sheer luck of a little hippie is all that kept us from achieving our goal."

He finally tore his eyes away from the tent flap before looking the Italians in the eye.

"Gentlecars…It was an honour serving with you."

Sarge turned back towards the screen, standing to attention. Guido drove towards him, patting the Jeep affectionately on the side. He knew Sarge was taking this hard. The fear of losing his best friend was now a reality, one that Sarge was facing with a stiff upper lip and bravery. They'd done their best, Guido reckoned, and that's all they could do.

Luigi, on the other hand, rolled his eyes, and turned back to the television. Bianca was gone, he really didn't care anymore.

* * *

It was time. The stage was set. Lilith was back, her love for the van stronger than her fear of Dracucar. Fillmore knew he had a choice to make. Unaware of the thousands of cars who were watching, he rolled into the room. Lilith was parked next to Karin, not as shiny as the other car, but at least free of the twigs and leaves stuck to her. They were both so beautiful, radiating goodness and kindness with every word they said to him.

The van turned to look at both of them before speaking.

"Ladies…" he said. "As you know, I have a choice to make tonight. There's only one rose, and you're expecting one rose to be given. I don't want to let you down, not after the wonderful time we've had together."

The two cars nodded, eyes glued to Fillmore. Rod Redline rolled his eyes, mentally telling the hippie to get a move on.

"I've decided to listen to my heart," the van continued. "Because it's led by love, and has so much to give. I know you will understand. My mission is to give love, but you've given me so much in return."

The van turned towards the table and lifted the beautiful red rose. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Back in Radiator Springs, Lightning and Mater leaned forward a little, both of them willing Fillmore to pick their favourite.

Karin and Lilith watched as Fillmore looked at the rose, musing on its power. Finally, he looked up and spoke.

"Angela, will you accept this rose as a sign of my love?"

Every viewer, from LA to Dallas to New York, froze in silence. Karin and Lilith watched, wide-eyed and shocked, as Fillmore sauvely turned towards the hostess beside him and handed her the rose. Bill, after a moment of shocked silence, had enough sense to turn the camera towards the scene.

The Mini stood there, wide-eyed, glancing at the rose as if it personally offended her.

Rod Redline was the first to react and burst out laughing.

"Shh, be quiet!" Leland hushed him as Fillmore started talking.

"Angela," the van said. "You've given so much of your life and time to this show. You've talked to us, helped us, guided us through our times of crisis. Yet, you've gotten so little in return. Will you accept this?"

Karin realized what was happening and her love for Fillmore swelled. What a kind, sweet, generous van he was! Giving the rose to the hostess who ultimately got nothing out of her job other than a paycheck. She swooned. Lilith did the same, a dopey smile gracing her features.

Sarge's eyes twinkled and he grinned widely.

"I… uh… " Angela stumbled, trying to form an intelligent syllable.

Sheriff laughed.

"What I mean… I can't… No!" The Mini finally put her tire down.

"Come on, Ang," Fillmore gave his most charming smile. "We all need some love sometimes."

"Yes, I know we all need love sometimes," the hostess gritted. "But give the rose to one of _them_!" She pointed a tire to the two contestants, both of whom were looking at Fillmore with adoration.

"Ang, they understand," Fillmore pushed the rose towards her and she shrank back as if it were poisoned.

"I'M MARRIED!" The Mini shouted. That was enough for the cars who were still in shock and nationwide all the viewers started laughing.

"Why should that stop you from taking it?" Fillmore asked. Bill guffawed.

The last anyone heard of Fillmore on the Bachelor was Angela shouting frantically shouting, "Cut to ad break! Cut to ad break!"

The screen went black for a few seconds before the ads started rolling.

In their little tent, Luigi and Guido glanced at Sarge. The Jeep looked like he was in a haze. Slowly, his grin widened.

"Idiots!" He finally shouted. "You really thought you could trap Fillmore into choosing a lady! He's far too clever for all of you!" Sarge couldn't believe it. Fillmore had sabotaged the show _on himself_. It was just too good to be true!

And so, Sarge declared that they had won the war and prepared to start packing up. Soon they would go back to Radiator Springs and everything would go back to the way it was.

* * *

The season was pretty much finished after that. Jokes, hashtags, gifs, and memes spread over social media for a week afterwards. Angela quit her job as hostess and went on to pursue other career options. She'd had it up to her roof with reality television. Fillmore remained oblivious to all the drama and was returned to Radiator Springs the next day. He was the center of attention as his friends crowded round him, demanding answers to all of their questions.

Fillmore answered them easily, happy to be back home again. It wasn't long before the contestants made the trip to Arizona to see Fillmore's town for themselves. Three days after he'd returned, the van found himself parked outside of Flo's, in a stall next to Sarge. As promised, he'd introduced Bianca to Guido. Luigi had been livid. _Guido_ was the one who Bianca was in love with? Fillmore could hear him railing on the forklift all the way from across the street.

He sighed contentedly, it was good to be back home. Casually, he glanced over towards Sarge.

"Just so you know, man, I know it was you trying to sabotage the show."

"What!" Sarge exclaimed indignantly, but Fillmore saw right through him. "That is outrageous! You can't prove a thing."

"Sheriff told me you were gone while I was."

"Traitor," Sarge growled, glancing down towards his can of oil.

"No, man, it's alright," Fillmore assured. "You helped me connect with the ladies on another level. All the fear and uncertainty was just a barrier for us to push through and build bonds through adversity."

"You know," Sarge glanced at him as if he were crazy. "The purpose of the show was for _you_ to find love, right?"

"It was never about me, man," Fillmore smiled, glancing off into the distance. "It was never about me."


End file.
